“Passion is a positive obsession. Obsession is a negative passion.” ~ Paul Carvel
Are you obsessed? How many times have you called, texted, looked at, stared, thought or dreamed of another? How many times do you look up their facebook page, twitter account, blog, website or any other. How many times have you called and hung up? How many times have you thought of calling, texting or talking, but haven’t? Obsession is a force, but one that needs further introspection.
In a normal human life, many develop an obsession. Obsessions can be with anything, but do not confuse obsession with passion. Often, an obsession may start as a crush or simply a very invested interest in another person. But, what happens when we cross the line? Strange things begin to happen, and we notice the energy we produce. An obsession can become a plague; a parasitic behavior that breeds destruction. Some live and breathe the life of another, slowly dying and never being.
Obsessions are born with desire, in a sphere of want. If one becomes subdued by his obsessed object, he will stop at nothing to gain his trophy. Attaining this prize can become life, an often fruitless goal. If talking about goals, a positive goal, we are then talking about passion. If referring to gaining another person’s complete attention or complete focus on anything considered non-constructive, we are talking of obsession.
This is not about pursuing a love interest in a normal fashion, this is about stalking. There are those that live in a shadow of self, where they hide and stalk others, afraid to come out into the light. This is a destructive behavior. The need, desire and want consumes the mind and clouds the heart. The stalker consumes himself with the life of another, and then stops at nothing to become, change or live in tandem with the life of his target. And then, what does one do when he has his target. Chains? This is wasteful.
Obsessions can lead into the black. Passions lead to the light. Without attentive hearts, in our obsessions we can easily be consumed by desire by attempting to fill a void that we cannot ever fill. We wish for acceptance or attention, but if we only attune, we need no other attention save that of the divine hand.
We see what we wish for in another, and can never gain what we do not possess. But, most fail to realize that, no matter, we possess all we need, all the time; we need nothing else. Leave your obsessions, live for good work and love. Realize the tools to gain anything are already yours.
The only obsession we need is one of unity; a unity of living, love and heartfelt compassion for all life’s creatures.
21 thoughts on “For the Obsessed”
great post. well said. yes, the only obsession is one of unity, love, and heartfelt compassion for all life’s creatures. Thank you. 🙂
Sam There is a fine line between obsession and passion for me…seems to be that way with many with Aspergers.
Thank you! and very much a fine line exists.. we just need to understand the margin on which we stand in order to stay clear from the clutch of obsessive behavior.
So true. Especially for those experiencing the twin soul/flame paradigm. Making the distinction between obsession and passion can be super difficult, but if you can’t do it you run the risk of losing yourself entirely – and what’s the point in that?
Exactly, sometimes its hard to distinguish, but almost always we know when our behavior is destructive or becoming such.
Indeed. The kind of infatuation described here can occur with any relationship…even with causes and career paths. An unfortunate pattern of voyeurism has been nurtured in us for things like reality television that give us collectively a social “pass” for watching and not actively engaging, which often allows us to nurture an impractical approach to engaging with others…
Only when we have authentic interactions with others and actively engage with pure motives in our hearts does it seem that we can nurture the heathy relationships that we so ardently desire…
Very well put my friend.. and so very true in this “interconnected” day and age we live in. It is almost as if voyeurism is encouraged in our present culture.. Which is a very destructive trait if left untamed.
“But most fail to realize that, no matter, we possess all we need, all the time; we need nothing else” – well written. It took me a long time to realise that what I really needed turned out to be Jesus. Sometimes we have to take this wayward journey I suppose – but I’m so glad he is patient with us, and so gracious in bringing his wanderers home.
Thank you, beautiful.
Thank you! Best wishes
Great post! Stalkers tend to be energy vampires. They feed off the energy (light) of another; because they are too weak survive on their own. I was in a relationship with such a person. It wasn’t until we broke up, that I realized how much more energy I felt when he wasn’t around. Literally, I would become sick in his presence. He would show up unannounced at my home and call incessantly. Now that I am far from his reach, the chain of dependence is broken. I still keep him in prayers to this day.
Very true.. energy vampires is a great way to describe it.. Glad you’ve broken the chain.
I completely understand and agree.
Beautiful post…and the comments that followed were equally inspiring. The fine line…it is like a tight rope… I know this because I find I walk it all the time. Remembering we have all that we need…is hard when we seek to fill the whole that sometimes exists.
Thank you. 🙂
As I think on this post, it seems to me that one important ingredient that’s needed to keep passion from becoming “obsession” is “self acceptance”. When we don’t feel “complete” just as we are – flaws and all – we crave to fill that void with people, things, superficial success, causes, or whatever. We want these things to make us whole again, but nothing outside of ourselves can do that. I suspect that the frantic / panicky pursuit of an obsession is probably the unconscious realization that we can’t.
I guess you might say that a passion enhances the self – and those around us. An obsession is there to “fix” the self, but can’t.
This post – as well as the one on anger – makes me realize that an important basis of our mental health comes down to the need for self acceptance. From my perspective, it seems so many lack this and that this lack is the root of so many individual and societal ills. I often wonder what has gone awry within our lives, in our communities, and our upbringings that for so many self acceptance is so elusive.
Wow, excellent. Glad someon addressed this.
It’s important to maintain good boundaries with everyone, especially in the realm of working and closely mingling with the opposite sex. I always picture the proper boundary as freedom to completely be myself and enjoy shared “passions” which can produce great things. I heard it said that you can have chemistry with many. Chemistry does not mean you’ve found your soul-mate. You just click with somebody. But live with anyone and try working the relationship out–another story. The person of your dreams turns out to be another human being, with quirks and failures, too!!
Salam. Don’t you think it’s superficial to measure one’s love or obssession by the number of times we stare at someone’s facebook page or twitter or text? I can’t see any difference between passion and obsession ;they’re one and the same.
There is nothing superficial about it at all, and it’s not a measurement, it’s an observational example. And if passion is the same as obsession, then by your logic you’re implying that those who kill or stalk another person in the name of love have too much passion? That is illogical and simply wrong.
okay if you said so .
Obsession is easily defined as the dark side of passion. There is a definite line between the two. One is a healthy behavior the other is abnormal and can be destructive.