Today my heart left.. She could only stay a short while, but, she smiles at me from miles away.
So it goes with all life, that to truly feel alive one must be pulled by the heart. At times this feeling is not pleasant, it is not kind and it cares not for our reactions to it. But, nonetheless we feel it. We feel its bursting joy at times, and we also feel the sting of its painful truth. My sphere is one of sadness, and sweet sorrow; bittersweetness.
My daughter is ten years old, and to me she is still a very precious, innocent young girl. She is my life, my heart and my driving force, and telling her goodbye is the hardest thing to bear. Summer vacation for us ended today, and my heart aches. My sphere is solid, but breakable… today it is broken.
I can still feel her tears on my face, and I still choke mine back. I can still hear the whimper in her voice as she said her goodbye, just as I can still feel the lump in my throat as I tried to say mine. I can still see her solemn face as she walked away with such poise.. and the little hand that waved goodbye is burned into my mind this night forever..
We are given so many “things” in life which we think “matter.” As if these things are of such value and importance. I could care less to categorize these things, as none of them matter more than the love and complete devotion to our most tender possessions; these are our children. All parents know this, but so many dismiss the little moments that matter most.
How many special moments have been missed? We all miss the little things when we’re engrossed in our daily lives.. Every hug makes a difference, every word is remembered for a time, every smile is a picture, and each second spent, even if it might be spent doing absolutely nothing but sharing a laugh is worth more in life than anything you can weigh or measure..
I thought about these things today as I drove away and it rocks me to bare my soul. So many things I’ve missed, being so far apart from my child, and this, like a knife in my heart, is the reality I faced today.
I share many things with people, in the hope that others will see their own true reflections easier. This I do in kindness and with the belief that humanity will lose sight of the self, the bare reflection, and instead see the truth that exists behind it; the problems, the thoughts, the fears, the joys and the pains; the raw essence that makes up the human being.. everything; every part of our being must be faced before growth can begin.
We all must grow.. But, do be sure that you make every moment count. No matter which sphere you visit, recognize the moment in which you make your decisions. Let no moment pass unattended. Tend to them with both the heart and mind in unison.
In my sphere… All moments are but a string of pearls that will glisten or be tarnished forever, and these pearls will shape my world every second thereafter.
Tonight, I cry.. tomorrow I make my tears count.