My Heart Left Today

Today my heart left.. She could only stay a short while, but, she smiles at me from miles away.

So it goes with all life, that to truly feel alive one must be pulled by the heart. At times this feeling is not pleasant, it is not kind and it cares not for our reactions to it. But, nonetheless we feel it. We feel its bursting joy at times, and we also feel the sting of its painful truth. My sphere is one of sadness, and sweet sorrow; bittersweetness.

My daughter is ten years old, and to me she is still a very precious, innocent young girl. She is my life, my heart and my driving force, and telling her goodbye is the hardest thing to bear. Summer vacation for us ended today, and my heart aches. My sphere is solid, but breakable… today it is broken.

I can still feel her tears on my face, and I still choke mine back. I can still hear the whimper in her voice as she said her goodbye, just as I can still feel the lump in my throat as I tried to say mine. I can still see her solemn face as she walked away with such poise.. and the little hand that waved goodbye is burned into my mind this night forever..

We are given so many “things” in life which we think “matter.” As if these things are of such value and importance. I could care less to categorize these things, as none of them matter more than the love and complete devotion to our most tender possessions; these are our children. All parents know this, but so many dismiss the little moments that matter most.

How many special moments have been missed? We all miss the little things when we’re engrossed in our daily lives.. Every hug makes a difference, every word is remembered for a time, every smile is a picture, and each second spent, even if it might be spent doing absolutely nothing but sharing a laugh is worth more in life than anything you can weigh or measure..

I thought about these things today as I drove away and it rocks me to bare my soul. So many things I’ve missed, being so far apart from my child, and this, like a knife in my heart, is the reality I faced today.

I share many things with people, in the hope that others will see their own true reflections easier. This I do in kindness and with the belief that humanity will lose sight of the self, the bare reflection, and instead see the truth that exists behind it; the problems, the thoughts, the fears, the joys and the pains; the raw essence that makes up the human being.. everything; every part of our being must be faced before growth can begin.

We all must grow.. But, do be sure that you make every moment count. No matter which sphere you visit, recognize the moment in which you make your decisions. Let no moment pass unattended. Tend to them with both the heart and mind in unison.

In my sphere… All moments are but a string of pearls that will glisten or be tarnished forever, and these pearls will shape my world every second thereafter.

Tonight, I cry.. tomorrow I make my tears count.

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I am an artist, writer, author, philosopher and lover of nature and life. My blog offers a glimpse into my world, my thoughts, my sphere. Enjoy!

33 thoughts on “My Heart Left Today

  1. i was that little girl along time ago,beautiful post because when you strip away all the ‘stuff’ we are busy with,we are left with love,thank you

  2. Bless your heart. I feel your pain as I read your blog. Although she is not there physically, she’s with your heart. Hogs and snout kisses – XOXO – Bacon

  3. this was beautiful, and i have too felt this pain, when my 3 daughters were young and had to return to their father’s home. each time, it was hard and i felt such strong feelings of loss, no matter how temporary they might be. i am happy to say that they are all now grown women, with their own wonderful families, happily married and 2 children each, and i have the pleasure of sharing space and love with them often. peace, beth

  4. Thanks for that. It brought back with great force my daughter’s (and only child) first day of kindergarten, which was made more significant by the fact she had never been in daycare. I can still see her entering the classroom, terrified but trying to be brave. Did I weep once I was back in the car. Absolutely.

  5. Beautiful! Yes, I can just imagine how my son feels everytime his beautiful 3 year old daughter leaves. How lucky she is that you see the importance of connecting with her. My 2 sons were never that fortunate. I tried very hard to rekindle the relationship with their father, but to no avail. Hang in their and treasure every moment!

  6. Hi, I too feel your words so deeply, as I am also very far away in miles from my three daughters, and only see them rarely. You have expressed the emotions of love and loss and faith so eloquently in this post, Tonight I bow to you, from one human to another, and say Namaste. Many blessings on your journey, and joy. Leigh

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