“She smiled and said with an ecstatic air: “It shines like a little diamond”,
“This moment. It is round, it hangs in empty space like a little diamond; I am eternal.” ~ Jean-Paul Sartre, The Age of Reason
Worlds away, far gone, beyond that which is knowable. Words to describe the soul, or to describe this:
I often think about travel. I do it often. Without much hesitation or thought, I’ll take off at the drop of a hat. Perhaps it’s my Roma roots, my true gypsy blood. Nevertheless it is an act I’m all too familiar with; the act of parting.
Here in the sphere of the departed, I look closely at my own will, into my own longing, and at my own footprints. Where do I go, and where do I stand?
What is it to part from loved ones? Why does this feeling crash into the heart with sudden ferocity? While on the precipice of departing once again, my heart is heavy though my mind is clear.
This isn’t the first time I’ve held bags in my hand, ready to go. I learned this from a very young age. First by coming from a family spread far across the country, then from service in the Marine Corps.
We are all travelers in this family here, and always will be.
I’ve traveled far and wide, away from friends and loved ones my whole life it seems, yet, the feeling persists; a daunting heartbreak looms before the act of leaving. Before my feet set upon my journey I am reminded of where I stand. My mind sees the destination, but my heart longs to stay.
It is a true enigma at times, this act of parting. We all say our goodbyes, hug tightly to the necks of our loves, then as a tear jerks free we turn our backs and set forth our longview gaze.
We do this because it is part of who we are. We take stride onto the path of life, despite any resounding echo to stay, we push on. We do this because our soul knows the way. It leads us to tomorrow, always aware of the final destination.
Though I know this as my truth, I am beckoned by the echo once more.
I’ve recently spent the better part of two months here at my mother’s home in the deep south. I decided a trip for the holiday season was in order and now it comes to a close, life is waiting for me back in Colorado. Though I’m ready to get back and sink myself back into business as usual, I am not yet ready to leave; not willing to part.
Parting from here is always a difficult task, but, my feet know where to take me and my reluctant body listens to my soul.
It will be another long trip, miles across a cold countryside once again. This parting is familiar, bittersweet, but full of love.
I long for the day when I no longer have to part from family, for the day when all my hello and goodbyes are done. This day that seems so far ahead is still readily close, possibly much closer than I can see. It will come in the moment that continues still, this moment. This moment that effortlessly unfolds around us and within us all. It is all within this one singularity, this moment, that we part and return, and part again. We see not the finish, the beginning or the end of this moment, but only the hour. One day at a time we witness this moment change, shift, darken and lighten. We feel it shade our heads and brighten our hearts and minds. We all grow within it, this eternal moment.
The moment is not escapable, only livable. It is the life we live, this one continuous constantly changing moment.
Within the sphere of the departed, I witness this moment of life. I witness this and realize that only now is now, not ever changing; only moving and evolving. And no matter how far I travel, I am still here, now, in this moment.
No matter the distance, no matter where I live or how often I leave, in just a simple thought my time of parting and returning become one, and I am happy knowing that I am never too far from home; never too far from love, always close to this sacred bond that commands my heart.
Should we all realize that it is here, now where we all dwell, in a singular eternal moment of love; this will be the day when we all truly see one another, and we will never be apart again.
Only then will we finally greet each other as one, here, in this moment