“It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald
So much can be said about beginning a new year, a new decade and a new cycle in life. For many, these beginning days are a starting point, the first steps along a path of great intentions forged in the mind. We make resolutions. We tell ourselves that we’re going to be better, do this or that and finally start that project we’ve been putting on hold for years.
In this sphere of new days we find ourselves traveling forward, moving on with hopes of change, of good will and good fortune.
It is here where we become resolute.
I’ve always had a resolution. It’s one that has followed me my entire life, from childhood until now even as I sit and write these words. But like many, my resolution has been met with countless bouts of resistance to which I have buckled and allowed to hinder its becoming.
This is commonplace for many, particularly for artists and writers such as myself.
My resolution can be more aptly stated as my dream, my goal or the underlying dynamic thought which has shaped my life since I was able to read. And it is really quite simple, as many of them are. All I have ever wanted to do with my life is to write meaningful words and to give them the best life they could receive. For me, this means having a book published in the traditional frame. This pinnacle has yet to be realized.
Though I’ve published smaller works on my own, a book of thoughts, articles, blogs and have had numerous freelance writings sold, this barely tickles the sense of fulfilment and accomplishment I truly desire.
Truly, I’ve longed simply to tell stories. This desire to create worlds is a voice within that cannot be silenced; it’s a yearning that fills me with emotion, frustration, anxiety and self-doubt. Yet it also fills me with hope, with confidence and with a purpose for my own existence. A true paradox, the hallmark of a calling.
For all these reasons I’ve never stopped trying, and never will. Nor should anyone who feels so compelled to follow the spark.
Here in this first week of the New Year, we should all be reminded of that voice within us that cries out so often, and so often gets ignored. It is that voice that begs us to create something, to help someone, to become better, to finally be that greater vision of self that we’ve held in our hearts our entire lives.
Life moves in a dynamic that is barely understood even by the most renowned scholars. For us to attempt to determine the events of tomorrow while concerned with the events of the past only inhibits our understanding of the present. It is within this void that we often find ourselves; we reminisce of yesterday while worrying for tomorrow, all the while forgetting about right now.
Right now is the only place we can begin, new year or not.
I’ve personally begun hundreds of times. But then life happens. I get distracted. I allow indulgence. I’m thrown off by events out of my control. Priorities shift and things get pushed aside, yet I always return, ready to tackle the beast again, just to see how far I can get this time.
And each time I get closer..
Nothing is wrong with following a dream. The only thing regrettable here is to reach the end of life having never tried, living with the gnawing of unfinished teeth. This is a great reminder, the soul calling us back to our center, to the reason why we are who we are.
Here in this new decade, we should all take time to hear this voice, to truly listen to it. It is within this small, sacred space that we can find the most meaning, the most life. And it is here where we may become fuller, more complete versions of ourselves, if only we put forth the effort.
I’m willing to try.
I’m willing to try today, tomorrow and the next until it finally happens. And for anyone willing to muster the diligence that all faith requires, I wish you well and Godspeed on a life’s journey, and may you meet your dream just as you’ve always envisioned it.
To witness life unfold is a beautiful thing. I see it daily with my young son, Gabriel as he learns and grows. And we all must unfold, continually throughout life.
A lifetime is all we have. It’s a gift of days unnumbered, so maybe it’s best to make the days count and do what we all came here to do.
Happy New Year and Keep Trying