“A single tiny light creates a space where darkness cannot exist. The light vanquishes the darkness. Try as it might, the darkness cannot conquer the light.”
― Donald L. Hicks, Look into the stillness
It comes with the wave, the way I roll as the tide, crashing again and again. It comes with the forces of life, moving its waters about the surface of my heart. It stills never, forever pushing, forever moving, forever holding my soul.
This power comes from beyond, from the great mystery that always was, forever adding to the mystery of my life in turn. It leaves me here, here in this rock strewn havoc to find myself, to solve this puzzle that I’ve become.
Once of light, I am now empty,
And I am left to see nothing. Enigmatic Darkness, surrounded by dim light. The black moves over me, clouding my life, fogging all corners of my being. Peering about, the road is near, but the direction is lost.
My life is now a mystery, and my direction a whirlwind of thought. I stand at the signpost, trembling at the devil’s crossroads, at the escarpment of reason, still residing within the camp of my heart. But my heart fades softly.
From here I can go onward, no wrong direction, no right way.
It is dark here, and light only there. I see the light darkly, shadowed by pain, and clothed in the knowledge of why.Yet, I see it still.
I see the light darkly, not as light is supposed to be seen, but as flickering shades of gray with black lashes of sad rain. It sits on the horizon, this dark light looming like the crow high above, casting his gaze downward and thirsting for flesh. Watching, waiting, sitting, ready to soar down and pick apart my dead, tattered life.
The crow waits. But, I am as the crow.
And I know his plan well.
I’ve become dark, wishing for nothing, wandering my mind for answers, feeling my heart for the pulse of life that escapes me. It still beats, but softly, speaking in mumble and bizarre chord. Never this pain have I felt, to be left alone without brightness or duty.
I am light, darkly. Dimmed beyond the reach of my own eyes, confounded by the tongues of the world. Scorned by the words of lost loves and the directionless meander that I dance with blistered feet. The world is bare and fruitless without this passion that drives me.
Where is my soul? Where is this light that was once mine?
But yet, the light is there. All the while, it is there.
It moves as I move. An eternal chase that no man can win. A torch that passes from one life to the next with a fire carried by those of pure sight, knowing no darkness has ever caught the light.
But, my eyes open again.
And I see light, but still darkly.
Then I know it is not the light that holds this darkness, but my own eyes. Sunken behind my skull, darkened by sadness and torn by anger. Confused by the flies above my head, suckling on the stench of my darkened mind. They fly with the crow as he laughs, looking down upon me; this cloaked man who wanders without direction or purpose with a deadened mind, saddened by the words of his own tongue.
But my heart then speaks, and I look upon my cloak.
This cloak is worn by many, and I must return it. This dark cape is not mine. It does not belong here, it is not mine to wear.
And I remove it.
Now, with this veil lifted, with clothing removed, my soul breathes again.
And I become light.
I am now once again lit, brightly.
As it should be, and as I always have been,
Seeking the light always, even when lit dimly.
8 thoughts on “Light Darkly”
Magically eerie…searching for the light within. Beautiful read 🙂
We have those moments of veiled light throughout life. But you have seen the light and you have Eternal light within your Spirit. I too recently went through ❤break, discouragement and recognition of losses I will never be able to find! It takes a few minutes, or days, or weeks too recover stability and forge onward and upward. You will always be able to find your way to the light…. No matter what. I read you. I know you.
Thank you for your words.. And I hope you are doing well too 😊 All the best to you
I am doing wonderfully – now. It took time, but here I am! 🙂
Profound and thought provoking