Why do things feel right, when ultimately—in our heart—we know they’re completely wrong?
Many a sentient being come across this very question. It’s one which rips at the mind and wrenches our world, as confusion and self-doubt become a gestalt by which we seemingly cannot escape.
We wonder if we’re fooling ourselves. We look at the creeping shadows of our life and become paranoid by our own thoughts, as if our mind has turned against us; becoming a double-agent with allegiance to no one.
We wish for it. But the more we wish for it, the more it escapes our grasp.
But we must realize that an object of desire is—just as it is and always will be—an object. And it is when we identify our pre-determined happiness with this object that it becomes an object of obsession.
We must all learn that obsessions are not possessions, and they never will be, no matter how much we wish they were.
Maybe it’s a thing in your life that you’ve been pining for. Maybe it’s a person. Maybe it’s a dream you wish to become reality. Or maybe, it’s an idea of reality that you wish would become. NO matter what it is, it exists beyond your reach simply because you want it.
It is true, the things we wish for do find us, but this only happens when we’re NOT focused on the fact that we don’t have them. They come to us through a fluid motion of life, where we are present with our life and content with what we already have.
Personally, I often find that no matter how hard I wish for something to be, the more it eludes me. But when I purposely forget about it, making the effort to remove it from my thoughts, that’s when it falls happily into my hands.
But, this is only half of the phenomenon of “want.”
I can recall many times in my life where I’ve yearned for something, only to find that when I finally did get it, I realized quickly that I really didn’t want it at all. My idea of having it was much different than actually having it in reality. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t what I expected.
Ultimately, it wasn’t what I wanted.
I truly believe that when we’re denied a thing, it is because somewhere in the space of the heart, we truly know not only that we don’t want it, but that we don’t need it. As if our higher self is demanding us to pay attention, and when we don’t, when we are stubborn enough to keep sweating and toiling after a thing, we get it thrown in our face only to finally figure out that it isn’t the thing that we want at all.
But the desire is raw nonetheless.
It’s even painful at times, especially when what we wish for is another person.
Yet even then, that person is still a thing; an object of our desire.
Our minds get set ablaze with thoughts of this thing that we cannot have. We conspire in every way to make it happen, yet it stays out of reach. It burns our chest and our eyes, sinking our spirit as we become sick with want. Our thoughts cannot move freely.
And, move as they may, they only move so far, then to push against this wall of hopeless desire, a towering keep of brick and mortar that we cannot breach.
This want causes us stress. Physiological changes occur. We become listless, lost and find ourselves frantically going about our lives, and then, everything we already have starts to fall apart; all in the face of our wanting.
This is when we must relax our hearts, and let go.
In life, we must learn that letting go opens a door. But not only a door, it opens a floodgate by which all of our truest hopes and wishes may easily pass. If a thing we truly want is within our heart, it will find its way to us, but only through releasing ourselves from the bondage of desire.
If we may know love, then love will find us. If we aspire to be our truest form, we will find our path. And if we live simply, without desire, we shall never want. All of our needs will be met, and we might even be given a surprise or two along the way.
Let go of want.
Become free from the chains that bind the heart.
And be surprised with what finds you.
Because, you may not yet know what you truly “want.”